1 medium density cabbage. Type of cabbage unimportant. NOT a savoy.
1 kg Bussell's Mussels. If you are not named Bussell, regular mussels will suffice.
Begin by wiping down surfaces:
Turn oven to 190c (gas mark 5):
Level base of cabbage for stability:
Remove cabbage lid:
Hollow will ideally be big enough to accommodate a man’s fist:
Pour the mussels flush with the opening:
Open oven. The Bussell Mussel sprout is served raw and requires no cooking, but your pre-heated oven will now make the kitchen toasty warm.
Nb. If preparing this dish in Summer, pop the fridge instead.
Wow your guests by serving the Bussell Mussel Sprout on a bed of human hair:
Your meal is ready to be served. Add a pirate for garnish:
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Why not try a crisp floral white wine, you big fairy?